First, it is important to recognize that what has passed in a person’s life before Islam, or before sincere repentance, does not define their standing in the sight of Allah. Islam completely wipes away what came before it. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Islam erases what came before it.” (Muslim). Therefore, if this woman has sincerely accepted Islam and is striving to live a righteous life, her past is not held against her in the sight of Allah, and it should not be used as a basis for permanent judgment.

In fact, Allah says: “Except for those who repent, believe, and do righteous deeds—for them Allah will replace their evil deeds with good.” (25:70). This shows that sincere repentance not only erases sin but transforms it into reward. Therefore, describing a repentant Muslim in degrading terms is not in line with Islamic character and ethics.

As for marriage, the primary consideration in Islam is religion and character. The Prophet ﷺ said: “If there comes to you one whose religion and character you are pleased with, then marry him…” (Tirmidhi). Likewise, in choosing a spouse, the emphasis is on faith and uprightness, not past mistakes that have been repented from.

Regarding your parents, honoring them and treating them with respect is obligatory. However, obedience to parents is not required in matters where they prevent something permissible or beneficial without a valid Islamic reason. The Prophet ﷺ said: “There is no obedience to creation in disobedience to the Creator.” This means that while you must continue to honor, respect, and speak gently to your parents, you are not obligated to obey them if they refuse a marriage for reasons that are not Islamically valid.

At the same time, Islam encourages wisdom, patience, and maintaining family ties. You should make every sincere effort to reassure your parents, address their concerns calmly, and demonstrate the woman’s sincerity, character, and commitment to Islam. Sometimes resistance is rooted in fear, culture, or misunderstanding, and it may soften over time.

You should also acknowledge that the previous relationship was not conducted in a permissible way, and sincere tawbah (repentance) is required from both of you. The correct path forward is either to formalize the relationship through nikāḥ in a halal manner or to separate if marriage is not pursued.

If, after sincere effort, your parents continue to refuse solely based on her past, despite her repentance and good character, then the marriage itself remains permissible. In that case, you would need to weigh your decision carefully, ensuring that you continue to uphold your duty to your parents in kindness and respect, even if you proceed with marriage.

This is a situation that requires balance: not abandoning your parents, but also not rejecting what Allah has made permissible due to cultural stigma.

Turn to Allah in istikhārah, seek counsel from a local scholar who can mediate if possible, and proceed with wisdom, patience, and sincerity.