In Islam, ḥasad (envy) refers to wishing that a blessing be removed from another person. This is distinct from ghibṭah, which is to admire a blessing someone has and wish for something similar without desiring its removal from the other. The Prophet ﷺ warned against ḥasad by saying, “Beware of envy, for it consumes good deeds as fire consumes wood” (Abū Dāwūd). However, the scholars have also clarified that a believer is not held accountable for involuntary thoughts or emotions so long as they are not acted upon or nurtured.

In your case, you are not welcoming these feelings but instead repelling them with remembrance of Allah and du‘ā’. You say “Mā shā’ Allāh” when you see others’ blessings, and you ask Allah to grant your husband more rizq. These are all virtuous responses and indicate that your heart is struggling to remain pure, not to harm. Imām al-Ghazālī, may Allah have mercy on him, noted that if a person feels envy but restrains it and does not act upon it, then he or she is not sinful.

Feeling pain over your own difficulties and being reminded of them when witnessing others’ ease is a human experience. What distinguishes it in the sight of Allah is how we choose to respond. Your practice of saying “Mā shā’ Allāh” is rooted in the Qur’anic command, as in the verse: “If only you had said, when you entered your garden: ‘Mā shā’ Allāh, there is no power except with Allah’” (Surah al-Kahf, 18:39). This remembrance protects from envy and keeps the heart connected to Allah’s will.

Additionally, your desire to see increase for your husband and for your own circumstances is something that should be accompanied by sincere du‘ā’, gratitude for what you already have, and continued reliance on Allah.

The Prophet ﷺ said, “Richness is not in having many possessions, but richness is the richness of the soul” (Bukhārī and Muslim). One of the most powerful things you can do is to continually ask Allah to purify your heart and increase you in contentment.

It is also important to remember that Allah’s provision is not only material but also includes tranquility, family support, and barakah in time and effort. Trust that your current hardship is a temporary test and that with every difficulty comes ease, as promised in the Qur’an (Surah al-Inshirāḥ, 94:6).

In conclusion, you are not sinful nor are you causing ḥasad by simply feeling these emotions while trying to resist them. Rather, you are in a spiritually commendable position for striving to purify your heart and to please Allah. Keep making du‘ā’, focus on gratitude, and remember that Allah sees your efforts, your struggles, and your intentions. You are on the right path, and may He reward you and open doors of provision and peace for you and your family.