The foundation of this discussion must begin with the objectives of Islam regarding modesty and the protection of the heart. Islam does not deny natural attraction between males and females, but it regulates interaction in order to preserve dignity, chastity, and emotional well-being. Allah says: “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity; that is purer for them.” (24:30), and He says: “And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their chastity…” (24:31). These verses establish that modesty begins with controlling the gaze and extends to speech and conduct.

Talking between males and females is not inherently prohibited. Necessary, respectful, and purposeful interaction—such as in school, work, community settings, or religious learning—is permissible. However, when speech becomes flirtatious, emotionally intimate, private without need, or intended to develop romantic attachment outside of marriage, it becomes impermissible. Allah says: “So do not be soft in speech, lest he in whose heart is a disease should desire, but speak with appropriate speech.” (33:32). The principle is that communication must remain dignified, clear, and free of suggestiveness.

As for chatting or messaging privately, the ruling follows the same principle. If it is for a legitimate reason and remains within proper boundaries, it is permissible. If it becomes secretive, emotionally bonding, or romantic, then it falls into what Islam seeks to prevent.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “No man is alone with a woman except that Shayṭān is the third.” (Tirmidhi). While this originally referred to physical seclusion, scholars explain that private digital intimacy can carry similar spiritual dangers.

Physical contact, such as hugging or holding hands, between non-maḥram men and women is not permissible. The Prophet ﷺ did not shake hands with unrelated women, and he said: “It is better for one of you to be pierced in the head with an iron needle than to touch a woman who is not lawful for him.” (Ṭabarānī, authenticated by scholars). Islam closes the door to physical familiarity because it naturally awakens desire and emotional attachment.

As for selfies or photos together, the ruling depends on context. If the photo involves physical closeness, beautification for one another, or is shared publicly in ways that invite attention and attachment, then it contradicts the principles of modesty and lowering the gaze. Even when no touching occurs, intention and impact matter. Islam teaches not only the avoidance of major sins, but also blocking the means that lead to them.

When explaining these matters to youth, the tone is crucial. The message should not be framed as restriction, but as protection. Islam protects the heart from unnecessary emotional wounds, protects dignity from exploitation, and protects future marriages from comparison and regret. The goal is not to suppress feelings, but to channel them toward halal commitment.

Young people respond better when wisdom accompanies rulings. Emotional attachment without commitment often leads to distraction, heartbreak, jealousy, and spiritual weakness. Islam builds relationships on responsibility and clarity, not secrecy.

Regarding lectures and programs, it is highly beneficial for masājid to offer structured youth programs addressing these issues openly. Topics such as lowering the gaze in a digital age, boundaries in friendships, preparing for marriage, and emotional intelligence from an Islamic perspective are very helpful. Programs should be led by knowledgeable scholars who understand both fiqh and the realities of youth culture. Separate but parallel sessions for brothers and sisters are often most effective, with opportunities for anonymous questions.

The Prophet ﷺ said: “Indeed this religion is ease.” (Bukhari). Ease does not mean the absence of limits; it means that Allah’s limits are aligned with our well-being.

The best method is clarity with compassion, evidence with wisdom, and firmness without harshness. May Allah protect our youth, purify their hearts, and make them among those who guard their modesty and honor.