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Islamically, the father has to be informed and has to be the one to agree to marry his daughter to this suitable young man. If and only if the father disagrees to support such marriage for no legitimate reason, then this stand of his allows you to bypass the father and allow her grandfather from the father’s side to be her guardian; if the grandfather is not available, then the brother is to be the official mahram to officiate his sister’s marriage.
Even after the marriage is done, the father has to always be given a chance to be part of his children’s lives even if he is considered to have an abusive side, so if she has a newborn baby and wants to invite people to an aqiqa party, then the father needs to be invited and so on with other future events. If the father refuses the invitations and elects to cut off his children from his life, then the children get rewarded by the continuous attempts that they offer their father and they will never be labeled in Allah’s sight as disobedient children.
